In a nutshell: A gift based on a child's interests comes from what the child chooses on their own and keeps coming back to. A personal music story shows how a child's taste led a parent to music and cultural experiences they wouldn't have picked themselves, and taught them to judge less.
- When thinking about a gift, pay attention to your child's own choices and the interests they return to.
- Children don't have to judge music or other experiences by what the parent considers "cool" or valuable.
- A child's taste can help a parent discover new music and also rethink music they already know.
- In the author's experience, the children's music choices were influenced by the streaming library and algorithms, parents, and music from sports events.
- The children's musical journey belongs to them; it doesn't have to mirror the parent's experience or taste.
A gift based on a child's interests comes from what the child chooses on their own, not just from what you might think is a good choice. Sometimes an ordinary family car ride can show that.
A gift based on a child's interests comes from what the child chooses on their own and keeps coming back to. A personal music story shows how a child's taste led a parent to music and cultural experiences they wouldn't have picked themselves, and taught them to judge less.
In St Kilda, the author's family drove down a busy street with the windows open, and everyone was singing Make Me Lose Control by Eric Carmen at the top of their lungs. That image brought back the author's embarrassment about their own musical past: what would their former self, who considered themselves a music connoisseur, think of this moment? In a comment for The Guardian, the author describes the family drive and the shared singing of Eric Carmen's song.
Such a memory is also a fitting editorial reminder when thinking about a gift: a child's interest doesn't have to look like something you would choose. The author's experience is not a shopping guide. It's a personal story about how children taught them to listen with fewer prejudices.
What Does a Gift Based on Your Child's Interests Tell You?
When thinking about a gift, pay attention to what the child chooses on their own and what they keep coming back to. Their interest doesn't have to match your taste or your idea of what they should enjoy.
As an editorial aid, you can ask yourself simple questions: What does the child choose when given options? What do they start telling you about without being prompted? Which activity or topic do they return to? These questions are not a recommendation taken from the author's text. They simply help turn attention to the child's own choices, instead of projecting your ideas onto them.
The author describes himself as a former music snob. His children led him to music he wouldn't have picked himself, but also to ballet, medieval festivals, and a performance of Gruffalo. They didn't have to turn him into an enthusiast for each of these things. It was enough that their interests opened doors to experiences he would otherwise have skipped.
Why do children sometimes pick music that parents don't expect?
According to the author, children don't have an innate compass for what's "cool" and what's embarrassing. They often simply choose what they enjoy. Their choices don't have to respect parental ideas about what's worth listening to.
Once the children outgrew the Play School recordings, they could pick CDs for the home player at local second-hand shops. Among their finds was an eight-disc Best of the 80s collection. The author hadn't appreciated eighties pop much before, but now he listened to this music at home—because the children had chosen it.
The choice wasn't proof that all children like the same music. It did show, however, that a child's choice can get space in the family without an adult's immediate judgment. A-ha, Bananarama, and Tears for Fears made their way into the household. The author also started listening differently to upbeat songs he had previously dismissed easily.
How did the children change the author's view of familiar songs?
The children didn't just help him discover unknown artists. They also made him reconsider music he knew but didn't consider worthy of attention.
When his oldest child chose Kokomo by the Beach Boys for the final presentation at kindergarten, the author realized that eighties pop wasn't just a brief family detour. Queen started sounding joyful and exceptional, not like an over-the-top pose. He stopped seeing Belinda Carlisle and the Bangles as performers of insignificant songs. Cyndi Lauper seemed brilliant to him, and Cheap Trick, in his opinion, weren't bad at all.
He also gained a different perspective on David Bowie. He didn't consider the albums from Hunky Dory to Low his richest period, but rather the first three tracks from the Let's Dance album. He also remembered the joint version of Dancing in the Street, which Bowie recorded with Mick Jagger.
Children can thus help a parent discover something new, but also hear things they already know again. A child's taste doesn't have to be a guide for a parent to change their own. In this story, it was more of an invitation to listen without a quick verdict.
What all influences a child's taste?
In the author's experience, children's music choices are shaped by a shared streaming library and its algorithms, parents, and music from sporting events. These influences describe one family; they don't mean that all children listen to the same music or that parents should tailor their choices to their kids.
Chappell Roan, Raye, sea shanties, and modern folk all made their way into the author's musical world. In his account, contemporary tracks sit alongside older songs and genres he might not have sought out himself. This broad range showed him that children's musical taste can't be summed up in a single box.
Parents also played a role. The kids heard music at sporting events, and The Killers, MGMT, or Summer of '69 found their way into the family's picks. The shared streaming library, in turn, shaped algorithm recommendations: both parents' and children's choices fed into the suggested tracks.
When it comes to choosing a gift for a child, it's therefore useful to distinguish between what they seek out themselves and what reaches them from their surroundings. If you don't know what draws them to something, ask. It's a practical aid for thinking about a child's interests, not a claim that every current choice of theirs must be permanent.
How to let a child develop their own taste?
The author compares his own experience with music subcultures to how his children perceive music. He misses the clear boundaries and groups that mattered in his own coming-of-age. Their path, however, is their own, not a continuation of his story.
Children build their musical identity from what's at hand and what resonates with them: contemporary pop, older songs, sea shanties, and modern folk. It doesn't have to mirror a parent's taste or fit the idea that important music must always be serious.
It's here that the personal reflection circles back to the opening ride. The author admits that songs chosen for joy can endure. His children taught him to judge less and pay more attention to what they enjoy about music. When picking a gift, the same attitude can simply mean starting from the child's interest, even if you'd have chosen something different yourself.
Frequently asked questions
How do I find out what a child truly enjoys?
Notice what they choose on their own and which activities, topics, or songs they return to. If you don't know what draws them to those things, ask them. It's a practical way to base a gift choice on their own interest, not your assumption.
What if my child's taste differs from mine?
Different tastes don't have to be a barrier. Try to separate your own idea of what is interesting or valuable from what attracts your child. The author's story shows that a child's choice can help a parent rediscover even music they already know.
How do parents and streaming recommendations influence children's musical taste?
In the author's experience, a shared streaming library and algorithms, parents, and music from sports events all play a role. This is a description of his family, not a general rule for all children.
Key takeaways
- When thinking about a gift, pay attention to your child's own choices and the interests they return to.
- Children don't have to judge music or other experiences by what a parent considers "cool" or valuable.
- A child's taste can help a parent discover new music and also revisit what they already know.
- In the author's experience, children's musical choices were influenced by the streaming library and algorithms, parents, and music from sports events.
- A child's musical journey belongs to them; it doesn't have to mirror the parent's experience or taste.
Practical tips
- Notice what your child picks on their own and which interests they return to.
- If you're not sure what they enjoy about a certain thing, ask them.
- When choosing a gift, separate your own taste from what the child themselves shows interest in.
