In a nutshell: You can help preschoolers learn to get along by nurturing four key qualities: acceptance, forgiveness, loyalty, and teamwork. Children need to see that everyone has their own feelings, interests, and abilities, while also learning respect, compassion, and cooperation. Parents can support these skills through conversations, leading by example, giving helpful tasks, shared activities, and cooperative games.
- Acceptance means respecting others' feelings, differences, and interests; parents can encourage it by modeling and discussing differences.
- Forgiveness helps develop kindness and compassion, but young children need guidance in understanding the reasons behind behavior and managing emotions.
- Loyalty can be strengthened through mutual support, shared family traditions, and helpful tasks that make a child feel part of the group.
- Teamwork develops through play, taking turns, and shared tasks, such as assembling puzzles, keeping a balloon in the air, or doing household chores.
Do you have a young child who struggles with other kids?
It happens all the time—one toddler is happily playing with a favorite toy when another toddler suddenly snatches it away.
Chaos ensues.
Our parental instincts want to tell young children that they should get along and share.
But teaching kids to "simply get along" is a complex concept that is best broken down into four elements that parents can focus on when developing their children's skills.
These four qualities create a solid foundation for teaching young children how to get along.
Acceptance
The first step in teaching a child how to get along with others is helping them understand acceptance. This means accepting that everyone has their own feelings and deserves respect, even if they differ from yours or someone else's.
Teaching children about acceptance also means being careful not to judge others based on their differences from us—whether it's race or gender, or even having a different favorite color than you!
You can help your child understand acceptance by letting them know they are loved as they are and encouraging them to play with other children who may have different interests or
Children are still developing compassion and kindness. They begin to notice differences between themselves and others and eventually develop understanding and empathy toward others. Teaching a child to see these differences and accept them helps them empathize and then know how to coexist with others.
It's natural for children to be curious about differences between themselves and others. They want to know what makes someone different, and they learn that they can't always understand why people behave the way they do. But it's also important to teach a child to accept others' differences.
As a family, talk about the different things each family member enjoys doing, and plan time to participate in activities that match each person's interests.
Take a trip to the zoo for the one who loves animals, or visit a science museum for the one who likes experimenting. Use this as an opportunity to talk about how important it is to support and accept everyone's interests
One way to teach this skill is by encouraging acceptance of your child's own interests. When talking about what your family members like to do or what things they enjoy, make sure to include yourself in that conversation.
For example, if you enjoy playing soccer and your mom likes crocheting, tell each other why these things matter to you. This helps your child see how people can be different from each other yet still have similar interests.
Another step is helping your child understand that there are many ways to be a good person.
For instance, if you want them to be kind, explain why it's important to treat everyone—even those who are different from us—with respect and dignity.
Forgiveness
Teaching children to forgive is incredibly important, but it's also a skill that's hard to learn.
Preschoolers are in the early stages of learning how to play with others, and when learning to forgive these actions, they will need help from their parents or teachers.
Initially, children tend to focus on the actual behavior of someone rather than the reason behind that behavior, and when learning to forgive these actions, they will need help from their parents or teachers.
Teaching children about the value of forgiveness and learning to let go of negative emotions helps develop kindness and compassion.
Modeling forgiveness at home is a great starting point for teaching this skill, but it's also important to remember that young children still need guidance in identifying others' feelings.
Forgiveness is a difficult concept for children to grasp because they are still learning how to play with others and resolve conflicts. When children are faced with situations where someone has done something wrong, they tend to focus on the behavior itself rather than the reason behind it. This makes it hard for them to move past the situation and forgive someone for their actions.
Teaching a child the value of forgiveness can help them develop kindness and compassion—but it's also important to remember that young children still need help managing their emotional reactions and will need guidance in identifying others' feelings.
Loyalty
Loyalty is one of the most important qualities you can teach your child. It teaches children to value others and develop a genuine interest in their well-being.
Toddlers naturally want to help and care for others, so giving them helpful tasks will help them feel like an integral part of the family, classroom, and community.
Children often naturally develop loyalty when they feel love and guidance from a trusted adult, but you can also demonstrate loyalty at home by showing it to each other.
Attend a sibling's sports event or recital together and create special traditions in your household that your child will fondly remember.
Loyalty is a beautiful thing, but it's also something we can all work on.
Teamwork
Cooperation is the foundation of teamwork, and toddlers learn it mainly through play. Providing opportunities for children to work together and take turns can help develop this concept.
Games focused on collaboration and cooperation, such as assembling puzzles or keeping a balloon from touching the floor, teach the value of teamwork in a fun way.
Make household chores more enjoyable by involving everyone and turning tasks into a game. You can have your child try to toss laundry into the basket from different distances, or race to see who can pick up toys the fastest. It's good to talk about how you're all working as a team to show your toddler that teamwork can be fun and that work gets done faster.
When our children begin to see that each person has their own abilities and strengths, we can help them celebrate those and learn about each other. We can guide our children to understand why people behave in certain ways and teach them that despite differences and our behavior, we should be loyal to each other as members of one community.
Children learn by example, so it's important to model good teamwork skills at home. If you run a family business or manage a household, make sure your children understand their role in helping with daily activities. For example, if you have an older child who reads well and can take responsibility for setting the dinner table or writing the grocery list, let them do it!
When it comes to play, provide opportunities for teamwork through games like assembling puzzles or keeping a balloon from touching the floor without holding it. Playing these games will help develop your child's ability to cooperate while having fun!
